Some observations from where I stand...

For the past two or three years, around this time of year, I start thinking about Jackson's birthday. I try to make birthdays a big deal for my kids. Not like a "keeping up with the Joneses" big deal, but something memorable for them, something that's their idea. Last year Jackson wanted an outdoor party with a water slide and a Mickey Mouse theme. We did it, it was memorable, he still talks about it today, mission complete. I'm kind of avoiding it this year because I think I'm in denial that he's turning 5. I think 5 is a big deal. And all four year olds think 5 is a big deal too. When the four year olds at school are talking about one of the fives, they get a gleam in their eye and say "you know-SO-AND-SO, who's FIIIIIVE!"
I asked him casually today about what he wanted to do for his fifth and he told me he wants to skip it and turn six instead so he can do the 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle he saw at the toy store that said "ages 6+". Kids are the best.

Five also means Kindergarten. Kindergarten today is not like it was when I was little. I remember going HALF days. There was no full day Kindergarten in NJ, and I'm pretty sure there still isn't. I went in the mornings. I remember singing my ABC's, drinking a pint of milk and eating a cookie, laying down for a little while, getting up and doing some finger painting, singing some more songs and then going home. NOT TODAY. There is so much pressure on kids to learn so much before they even step foot in the Kindergarten class. I know, I see it first hand every day. Painting today is what the kids get to do after their addition and subtraction are done. There is a ton of pressure on pre-school teachers as well. Kids today have to learn to read, write, and know basic math before they can even get into the big K. The funny thing is, the majority of them do it and love it. They have no idea how much work is ahead of them, they just love that they are big enough to "own" something. School, for now, is theirs. It's their time away from their families, they're time for venturing out, for making new friends, and seeing what they can get away with, lol. They're also sponges, sucking up every ounce of knowledge they can get their minds wrapped around. It depresses me to know that in a few years, I'll be begging Jackson to do his homework rather than him begging ME to let him do it. It's so hard to know that my babies are soon going to have to fend for themselves. I work in a small, tight-knit, private school. We know every child inside and out, every family member's name, even some things we probably shouldn't courtesy of little mouths that are too big at times, lol. I want to hold onto these days forever, and it pains me to know that my little men are going to be picked on, singled out and stepped on from time to time. And I'm afraid that some of their teachers aren't going to care as much about my kids as I do about all the kids I take care of every day. The hardest part is knowing I can't stop it, that I have to just let them go and hope for the best.

So I'm thinking this birthday may be a little more low-key than previous years. Maybe we'll steal away for the weekend as a family and let it roll in and out, trying to hang onto 4 as long as we can. Or, maybe he'll surprise us and say "how 'bout a big party Mom & Dad??" We could never say no. But I know one thing for sure-I will be getting that jigsaw puzzle. He could do it with his eyes closed-even if he is only turning 5!